Breathe in, Breathe out
by fictionfanDNB
Summary: On-Shot. Alternate Ending. How Carson and Leah's life /could/ have been...


**A/N: Bruce Springsteen's Leah has always been a series of forks (no pun intended) where the story could go a half dozen different ways, and I just had to see through the fog to find the right one. Breathe In Breathe Out was one of the forks I ignored along the way... **

**This alternate ending takes place approximately 5 years in the future from where it deviates from BSL's story line and it posits that after chapter 22, Jamie never caught up to Carson in the cave. **

**Please only read this OS if you have read through AT LEAST chapter 22 of Bruce Springsteen's Leah.**

**I do not own Twilight, but Carson is my creation. C:**

**Carson POV**

* * *

Breathe in, Breathe out

_Inhale, exhale. _

Sometimes, I still had to remind myself to breathe. Oftentimes, stutters and gasps were all I could manage. My family was so beautiful. They stole my breath away. We had been doing something simple, just watching a movie, but Leah and Van couldn't make it, and had tuckered out halfway through, Leah, into the crook of my shoulder, and Van across our laps.

As the credits played, I ran my fingers through Van's thick black hair. I glanced at the wedding band on my left hand, and before I could help it, my thoughts leapt to the night Leah accepted my proposal.

_At first, she had stuttered over an answer with some ridiculous line about being a wolf and how she was dangerous. For me, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I stormed off, not wanting to hear her evade my questions with another lie. _

_ I had gotten drunk, really drunk, and had terrible nightmares. I awoke to Leah shaking me. She was shivering herself, drenched and muddy. Instantly, I was alert, cognizant of my surroundings. I was in my usual cave, but my gear had been scattered and some of it had been ripped or broken. For a moment, I denied that I could have done all that damage, but a second later, that was the least of my worries. _

_ "What's wrong?" I pulled her into my embrace. "Are you okay?" _

_ She sobbed into my shoulder for a moment before pulling away from me. She ran her hands over my arms and chest like she wasn't sure I was really there. _

_ When she finally spoke, it was barely a whisper. "You wouldn't wake up. I was scared."_

_ She crashed back into my chest and I held her as she cried. _

_ "What are you doing up here, Leloo?"_

_ She sniffled and used her sleeve to wipe her face. Even red-nosed and puffy-eyed, she was still beautiful._

_ "I missed you. I needed you. I was lost and hurt. Whatever I need to say to let you know that I want to marry you, that's what I'm trying to say."_

_ I couldn't help the huge smile broke out across my face before I asked, "Are you sure?"_

_ "Yes, I'm sure." _

_ Her answer was confident and it filled me with hope. But there's always a but... I held my breath and waited for the escape clause._

_ "I just, I want to move away. Would you hold that against me?"_

_ I breathed a sigh of relief and smiled as I reached my hands up to hold her cheeks. "We can move anywhere you like. I think we've just about outgrown Siwash anyway. _

Within a month, we found ourselves settling down in Northern Saskatchewan, near Lake Athabasca. We both had money saved from Siwash, but neither of us really had a plan. Luckily, almost immediately, Nox called with excellent news. He had a contact within the Athabasca Sand Dunes Provincial Park and had given them some information on Leah and myself. They were interested in getting to know us and wanted us to visit.

Visit we did, and sure enough, they hired Leah to be a park ranger and me as an engineer. The drive was long, and we had no idea what to expect, but we were together.

After a year, we moved from our first little house into a cabin inside the reserve. That made life considerably easier, but the hours considerably longer. We didn't mind; we loved our work. At one point, our cabin was also home to three baby owls that only wanted to play when we wanted to sleep. Leah was ever patient.

During our time at the reserve, I helped redesign the irrigation system and employ the use of solar cells for public facilities. Mostly, I just enjoyed every second of it.

I didn't rush Naika Leloo into a wedding. I let her set the pace of things. I thought at the time she was waiting on something, and when she told me she was pregnant, I knew. I was disappointed that she thought she needed to give me a child to be my wife, but I was ecstatic that we were going to have a child.

Seven months later, I held a handsome baby boy and a very tired Naika Leloo. She named him Van, giggled, and fell asleep. I didn't immediately get the joke. _Car_son, _Van... Get it?_

When Van was two, he walked his mother down the aisle. I insisted we all wear white. Van thought it was about time he shaved his head like his daddy, and Leah wouldn't walk down the aisle unless it was hand in hand with her son.

We were married under a willow with just a few friends, and it was absolute perfection.

Leah received a call once from La Push. She ran outside, but I could still hear her screaming into the receiver, "I can't do this, Jacob. I can't fight with you. I'm done. I've got a family now, a son. I'm not going to risk that. And don't even try to have Sam call me; it won't work. I don't even know how you found me. Good luck, Jacob, but goodbye."

She was antsy and distant for a month until she received another call, this one from her mother. After that, she cried for a week with no explanation.

Other than our minor hiccups, we were happy, but everyone had hiccups. She never told me why she wanted distance from her family, but I took it in stride. We had our work, our son, and we had each other.

She had her secrets, but I had her love. I learned quickly that I didn't have to know every little facet of her mind to love the complexity of it.

_Inhale, exhale._

Everything I needed in the world, I held between my hands.


End file.
